There are days that I feel very lazy and don’t want to do a thing, and then there are days that I feel very productive and get so much done that I don’t know how I did it all in one day. Unfortunately, the lazy days come too often and the productive days…well, you get where I am going with that. I want to be a better person. A better mother. A better wife. A better, well…everything. It’s hard to get things done with 2 kids running around the house taking everything out that you just cleaned up or making messes where you just vacuumed. It gets frustrating and almost makes me not want to try to some point because it’s just going to get messy again. I strive to have the house cleaned, laundry done and dinner finished by the time hubby comes home from work, but it doesn’t always work out that way. He’s a good sport about it just as long as I pay attention to the kids and make sure that they are learning something new everyday or getting outside to play. I am not a perfect mother and neglect that sometimes, but that is because my brain is sometimes in cleaning mode, and I feel that I need to get everything done. The reality of it all though, I CAN stop what I am doing because it won’t go anywhere, and I can get it done later. That mode is hard for me to turn off sometimes.
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my daughter (who is almost 3), and I was loving on her. I told her that I was going to eat her toes. She started laughing and said “no mommy, my toes not food. That food.” I kept persisting just to make her laugh, and kept saying that her toes weren’t food. Too cute, right? Kids say the funniest things. After that, I started doing laundry, but I wanted her help and she wanted to play with her puzzles. She wanted me to play so I made a deal. She helped me with laundry, and I would play with puzzles. She was very happy to help as long as mommy played with her. I don’t want to miss anymore moments like that ever. I know that with life, it will happen, but I am going to try my hardest to be the best mommy that I can be for my babies.
If you would have known me a few years back, you would ask me what changed me because I am definitely not the same person I was even just a couple years ago. I didn’t cook. I hardly cleaned. I didn’t craft. I wasn’t creative whatsoever. Let’s just say, I was not motivated to really be anything special. I was just plain boring. Well, lately, that just hasn’t settled with me. I got on Food Network and started looking up recipes and things that looked yummy. I got addicted to Pinterest (like everyone else). I used my sewing machine so much that it crapped out on me last week. I love to crochet at night before I go to bed. I sell on etsy. I clean just about everyday. I look for things to make my household more organized…etc…In fact, the next project that I am going to start very soon is building my own furniture. I can’t ever seem to find furniture that I really like, just stuff that I could live with and then eventually sell or throw out. I want pieces that I can be proud of keep forever. The Handbuilt Home by Ana White is where I got the idea that I can do things like that from. She has easy to understand instructions and an appeal to her designs. If my first build comes out as awesome as I think that it will, I think that I am going to get her book. :)I want to learn now what I can teach my kids later in life. I want them to learn how to be respectful and polite. Calling elders ma’am and sir or just anyone. I want them to know how to manage money and be creative. I want them to want to learn. To have a passion for something. To love and to live. To be like their daddy and to WANT to be like him.
Their daddy is a wonderful man and a loving husband. I am better at being a mother, I can be better at being a wife. If I can be a better wife, I can be a better me. I don’t want to lose ME in all the other titles that I have. I want to be somebody and touch someone with my story. My past. My present and my future. I do not boast in the things that I have done lately because without my God, I couldn’t have, wouldn’t have started or done anything that I have. He is the One who has given me the creativity and the want to be better and make things beautiful. He has given me the mind to start these things. Because trust me, I am not who I was years ago. I am better already and the journey to a better life has just started.
I hope to inspire so stick with me 🙂
mamamaryel 