When I Get Old…er

Sometimes, I get to thinking about when I get older, where will I be? Who will I know? Will my kids still be close? Will I start going crazy? Am I already headed down the path to crazy? Will my husband and I still be motorcycle riding, adventure taking old people? Will we own a house? Cars? Land? Grandkids? Will we go up in rapture before any of that will actually happen?

There are a lot of things to consider. We rent a house. We pay 2 car loans. Own 2 dirtbikes for actually racing purposes. 3 working bicycles for exercise purposes. We do not have a gym membership. We do not pay any kind of community fees from living in a subdivision. God forbid that we ever have to do that. The country is where we want to be. We will never own a mini van, no matter if we have more kids or not. I love my Cadillac! I make up excuses to leave my house so I can drive it.

I still have both of my parents. This will be the only time in my life that I can say that I am about to be a big sister. Half sister. My dad’s girlfriend is having his baby. Weird? Yes. Completely. It’s an *oh well, let’s move on* situation. I buy my kid’s clothes from Children’s Place and Baby Gap. I’m a little obsessed, but with this whole trying to save for a year to pay off a vehicle, I have to cut back that shopping a bit. My kids love being outside and would live outside if I would let them.

My daughter is cute and she knows it. My son is my bud and laughs every time I just look at him. I call my daughter monster. My son is called Bubby and mostly answers to Bubby. The monster girl does not like being cold. Bubby is hot most of the time. Anyway, you get the drift. Life is pretty great right now. We are waiting to see where the job is going to take us within the next few months. Somewhere South, just not sure where.

All of this moving around doesn’t leave much room for stability. The kids aren’t old enough to be in school yet, so it doesn’t hurt to move right now, but when they start school, things may change. Not sure how though. When I think about our future and where we will be, I honestly can’t see us anywhere yet. I haven’t found that one place that I love to be, and we just have to live there. We have met some great people in our travels, and we have met some not so great people. We have met people that were great in that moment, but very easy to forget in the long run and we have met people that will be our friends forever.

Our goal for our life is to eventually find land, build a house on a small part of that land and then the rest…motocross track! My husband will be riding his dirtbike forever into eternity. At our mansion in Heaven, God had better allow for a track to built for him or he may consider moving 😉 His dad still races and he is turning 61 this year. My husband is covered as far as what he wants to do when I grows old, but me? I think I may know what I want to do, but it’s just a matter of where we when that time comes.

I love being creative. I love home decorating and making things pretty. I love cooking and have people enjoy that cooking. I love making people feel comfortable and happy. Someday, I would like to open up my own B&B. Sounds reasonable? I think so. I just have to plan and plan…and oh yeah…make a plan. Pray and believe. I have ambition, but I need to learn the ropes. I never went to college. I got married early in life and still don’t regret it to this day.

I strive to be the parent that my kids can look up to and say to their friends *I want to be like my mom and dad when I grow up* I want to set the bar. I don’t want to be just another statistic. I want to grow up with dignity and be a woman of honor and help my husband be the man he is supposed to be. I am very blessed to be where I am at right now and try not to take anything for granted. I love my husband. I love kids. I love my family. I want to live the standard of Godly parents.

I will mess up. I will fail. I will occasionally yell and then cry because I was too hard. My kids will get mad at me. They will say things to me that will hurt my feelings, but in the end I know that they don’t really mean what they said. I will take things personal. But if none of those things happen, I will never learn. Growing up is hard and life isn’t fair. Just take what you have and cherish it and make the best of what God gives you.

When I Fell in Love

I’m going to give a little longer version of what led up to and how my husband and I met. When I was younger, like in high school and just out, I was definitely a completely different person than I am now. I had short hair, wore t-shirts, jeans and chucks all the time and really didn’t care how dumb I acted cause I was always around friends and people like me. I love music. I love listening to it and I used to love playing piano. I wrote songs, poetry, whatever came to my mind. After high school, I didn’t want to go college right away, and I had always been really involved in my church and activities that involved some kind of ministry (drama, music, dancing). I decided that for 10 months, I was going to move to OKC, OK and be in Master’s Commission. It’s a *hardcore* ministry training program that is suppose to help with people’s aspirations of being in…well, ministry. First year students were not allowed to date or even talk to opposite sex for more than 5 minutes.

Being who I was, that was really difficult since I had a lot of guy friends and not a lot of girlfriends. Let’s just say, I didn’t follow the rules really well, but it still was a very good experience for me and I got a lot out of it. Anyway…I went into the program with someone that said that he would *wait* for me. Yeah, so THAT didn’t happen. Not sure what happened in that 10 months, but it’s all good. So, our team was in IN for 2 weeks going from church to church doing services, playing music, we even went to the Prison outside of Sullivan and ministered there. It was pretty interesting, but not something that I am called to do. Our last night in Indiana, we were playing music and singing at this Teen Cafe thing at a Methodist church. I guess it was some sort of open mic night too, cause that’s when HE entered. 🙂 OMG! If you knew me back then, you would think that I was silliest girl in the world. After we were done playing, it was a while after, but HE started talking to me. ME! J. had long Fabio looking hair, wore a white button up shirt that was un-buttoned at the top….*sigh* let’s just say he was beautiful, and me? not so much. I was 19, looking like a 16 year old, couldn’t hardly talk to him, couldn’t even look at him. I was smitten and still couldn’t believe he would talk to me.

He was confident, smooth with a nice smile. All I had going for me was that at the time, I could hacky sack 🙂 Not exactly something this guy was into. I was the kind of girl who hacky-sacked, wore chucks like no one’s business (trust me, they were nasty by the time I decided to throw them out), never wore a dress, didn’t tan or get my hair done at a salon. In short, everything I had done, I did it myself not knowing that someone could probably do it better. Soooo….What happened that night? Well, obviously I wasn’t really allowed to talk to him, so what did I do? I gave him my email address and that was it. He gave me his business card…let me say that again. His BUSINESS CARD. I’m a 19 year old, guy shy girl, and this guy gives me a his card. What do I do with that? I don’t call cause I’m too afraid of someone else picking up and I have ask for him.

After that night, I didn’t think that I would hear from him ever again. 3 weeks later, I get an email ❤ Oh yes…he finally made a move. Since then, we became friends and nothing more at that moment. I was still living in OKC and he was in IN.  I am originally from IN just so there isn’t any confusion as to why I wanted this to work more than anything. We basically became best friends, still going out on dates with other people and dating. It wasn’t anything serious between us cause we were too far apart.

I decided after living in OKC for almost a year to move back home. He was the first person I went to see when I came home. His home was still 2 hrs from mine, so he let me rest before I had to actually go home. Oh he kissed me 😀 I had NEVER been kissed like that before. Every time I knew that I was going to see, I would get butterflies in my tummy and felt like I could throw up, my heart would be so far up my throat. He became my world. He was it. Our first date was Sept. 6, 2005. After that, I thought this was going to be forever. Until…it came to my attention that I was always the one who was coming to see him, call him and whatever else that was suppose to be done in a relationship. I tried to break up with him. Yeah…That didn’t work. He said that he would do better, and he did 🙂 Things got a lot better. He would come see me and he called me almost every night. That’s all I wanted, to feel wanted. Well….

He told me that loved me Nov. 8, 2005. We then started talking about getting married. He proposed Jan. 11, 2006. We got married Sept. 30, 2006. This year will have been 6 years of marriage. It’s been a ride let me tell ya! But every year that we are married, we get better at it. Marriage is nothing to take lightly. You are with that person day in and day out. Nothing is private anymore and you just have to deal. He was my first and I his and there isn’t anything more special than that. Now we have our beautiful children, a good job, a nice home, but none of this would have happened if we would have never met. I think that God has a special someone for everyone, and if you have to meet the wrong ones first to know when you have met the right one, then that’s ok too. Cause trust me, I met the wrong ones and when I met my love, I knew he was right for me.