The Better Me Project

There are days that I feel very lazy and don’t want to do a thing, and then there are days that I feel very productive and get so much done that I don’t know how I did it all in one day. Unfortunately, the lazy days come too often and the productive days…well, you get where I am going with that. I want to be a better person. A better mother. A better wife. A better, well…everything. It’s hard to get things done with 2 kids running around the house taking everything out that you just cleaned up or making messes where you just vacuumed. It gets frustrating and almost makes me not want to try to some point because it’s just going to get messy again. I strive to have the house cleaned, laundry done and dinner finished by the time hubby comes home from work, but it doesn’t always work out that way. He’s a good sport about it just as long as I pay attention to the kids and make sure that they are learning something new everyday or getting outside to play. I am not a perfect mother and neglect that sometimes, but that is because my brain is sometimes in cleaning mode, and I feel that I need to get everything done. The reality of it all though, I CAN stop what I am doing because it won’t go anywhere, and I can get it done later. That mode is hard for me to turn off sometimes.

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my daughter (who is almost 3), and I was loving on her. I told her that I was going to eat her toes. She started laughing and said “no mommy, my toes not food. That food.” I kept persisting just to make her laugh, and kept saying that her toes weren’t food. Too cute, right? Kids say the funniest things. After that, I started doing laundry, but I wanted her help and she wanted to play with her puzzles. She wanted me to play so I made a deal. She helped me with laundry, and I would play with puzzles. She was very happy to help as long as mommy played with her. I don’t want to miss anymore moments like that ever. I know that with life, it will happen, but I am going to try my hardest to be the best mommy that I can be for my babies.

If you would have known me a few years back, you would ask me what changed me because I am definitely not the same person I was even just a couple years ago. I didn’t cook. I hardly cleaned. I didn’t craft. I wasn’t creative whatsoever. Let’s just say, I was not motivated to really be anything special. I was just plain boring. Well, lately, that just hasn’t settled with me. I got on Food Network and started looking up recipes and things that looked yummy. I got addicted to Pinterest (like everyone else). I used my sewing machine so much that it crapped out on me last week. I love to crochet at night before I go to bed. I sell on etsy. I clean just about everyday. I look for things to make my household more organized…etc…In fact, the next project that I am going to start very soon is building my own furniture. I can’t ever seem to find furniture that I really like, just stuff that I could live with and then eventually sell or throw out. I want pieces that I can be proud of keep forever. The Handbuilt Home by Ana WhiteΒ is where I got the idea that I can do things like that from. She has easy to understand instructions and an appeal to her designs. If my first build comes out as awesome as I think that it will, I think that I am going to get her book. :)I want to learn now what I can teach my kids later in life. I want them to learn how to be respectful and polite. Calling elders ma’am and sir or just anyone. I want them to know how to manage money and be creative. I want them to want to learn. To have a passion for something. To love and to live. To be like their daddy and to WANT to be like him.

Their daddy is a wonderful man and a loving husband. I am better at being a mother, I can be better at being a wife. If I can be a better wife, I can be a better me. I don’t want to lose ME in all the other titles that I have. I want to be somebody and touch someone with my story. My past. My present and my future. I do not boast in the things that I have done lately because without my God, I couldn’t have, wouldn’t have started or done anything that I have. He is the One who has given me the creativity and the want to be better and make things beautiful. He has given me the mind to start these things. Because trust me, I am not who I was years ago. I am better already and the journey to a better life has just started.

I hope to inspire so stick with me πŸ™‚


It has been quite some time since I have been on here. At first it was hard not blogging, but the longer I waited to do it, the easier it got to slip my mind. I put it on hold when a new direction of life presented itself to us, and we had to move cross country…like literally. 1800 miles away from home. The hubby’s job moved us to sunny California! I love it here πŸ™‚ Couldn’t ask for a better experience so far. Anyway…Since we have been here, I have been quite busy trying to figure out my place in life now. The kids are getting older and easier to deal with. Ky is in preschool and loving every minute of it. It also gives me a few hours of alone time C. He misses his sissy though when she is gone. Before we initially moved, I started sewing and making crafts just for fun. Now? I am trying to make a business out of it. I am starting out by making wallets to sell and have a couple patterns for purses but haven’t gotten that far yet. I made a duvet for the guest room and just finished Ky’s bedspread for the bed she will be getting here soon. I will post pictures after the bed is all put together. I have an etsy shop.

I started selling Scentsy again and hope to do well with it here. I have a couple of parties lined up, but nothing set in stone yet.

My house is constantly a mess with kid’s toys and my sewing projects everywhere. I have been cooking more. In fact, my house smells awesome right now because of the Crockpot Pork chops that are cooking right now. Making me hungry πŸ™‚ The hubby wants us to start playing music and singing again. We got the songs, just need the time to practice.

So as you can see, a lot of things are starting to develop, but just waiting for the time when it all comes to pass and start being a success at things that we want to do and not what we necessarily have to do. Ky’s birthday is coming up quickly which means that Christmas is also. Lots of things to do. Lots to get ready for. And as I am writing, I am realizing that I don’t have much else to say right now πŸ™‚ Guess it’s time for the Waltons on the Hallmark Channel…I’m such a girl πŸ˜‰

My Sunny Sunny Weekend

Friday is the normal day to go out and do something since Yaya comes over and helps me with the kids. The plan was to go to the St. Louis Zoo. What did the weather decide to do that morning? Rain! And rain it did. I mean, it poured. We were on our way there when we decided that it wasn’t going to clear up, so we turned around. Burger King was in our eating future, and that’s when Yaya suggested we do something else. You know, after the fact that we already turned around and was heading home. Silly Girl.

We went to the Magic House. It was very cool and the kids LOVED it! It’s this huge house with all kinds of rooms of activities for the kids. Kylee played and played and played!She went down a slide, went through a maze, played with a giant light bright, played in water, sand and in balls. Nevertheless, what did I learn from going to the Magic House with my kids?

  1. Kids are rude…I’m not talking about younger babies who don’t know any better. I’m talking about the kids who do and don’t care. They don’t care who is in their way. If they are going somewhere, you will get pushed, big or small, you might get injured.Β 
  2. Parents of those so called rude kids, don’t care…It didn’t seem to matter what went on, the parents didn’t say much to their pushy unkind kids. They just let them do whatever they wanted no matter what happened to another kid or baby.Β 
  3. Strollers are NOT advised…This place was packed so taking a stroller was not the greatest idea. There was a place to park it and it was safe. Too many people to really commit a crime here. Anyway…There were those parents who thought it would be ok to try to push their stroller around through the crowds of people. Like I said, strollers are NOT advised.Β 
  4. After using the restroom, make sure your pants are up all the way…This is a very short story. This place has a family restroom meaning one family at a time can use it. Anyway, This lady comes out with her baby and turns around, and yes, you guessed it…underwear completely exposed with shirt slightly tucked in, pants not all the way up. It’s hard not to laugh because it’s hard to believe that any adult in their right mind would ever have this happen to them. Adults can be more cruel than kids. I saw several women see this women and just talk about it and laugh. I thought that if this were me, would I want someone to say something? Absolutely! Who knows how long this woman was going to be at this place, so very discretely, I said something to this woman. She didn’t get mad. She was probably very embarrassed. After that, we left.
All in all, it was a good trip. I would definitely take them back. The sky had decided to clear up so we ended up going to the zoo. Kylee loved seeing all of the monkeys. That’s all we really got to see since the kids had already had a long day and were getting cranky. The babies slept awesome that night.
Daddy was off all weekend, so he went riding Saturday and planned on racing Sunday, but that was rained out. Not too sure why cause it was hot and sunny all day yesterday. We were outside a lot and the kids played with the neighbor kids across the street. Kylee didn’t want to come home. We played ball, rode in her escalade, drew with sidewalk chalk, jumped in a bouncy house, rode her tricycle and so much more. I even got to ride my bike yesterday after all our activities were done. I could ride all day long. Definitely good exercise. I saw lots of people out finishing up their yard.
After the kids were asleep, Daddy washed my car and I’m considering waxing it today before I run my errands. I think that I am just rambling now, so I’m gonna go play with my chillins now.

2 Posts in One Day…I’m on a Roll

The only reason that I am posting again is because I am so excited to have my son back. He didn’t go anywhere. By back I mean, happy and healthy. Just one dose of medicine and he is laughing, eating, crawling around, did I mention eating?? Yes, I am a very happy mommy right now.

I will be even happier when my daughter comes back from being gone for almost a week at grammy and grampy’s house. Oh, how I have missed her. This next week is going to be tough though. I can tell, and she isn’t here yet. When she is at the grandparents, she gets spoiled, and I mean spoiled rotten. I will have to work with her all over again, with routine, what she eats, learning that no actually means no again…yes, the typical stuff that parents have to work with their kids on when they come back from grandma and grandpa’s house.

Well, anyway…I smell something unpleasant and am not looking forward to seeing what it is, not that I don’t already know. πŸ˜‰

My Poor Baby

I’ve been dealing with a fussy one year old for almost a week now. You would say, isn’t that normal? No, not really. I have very happy children, especially my son, he wakes up happy, he goes to bed happy, he’s just….happy. So when I say that he is fussy, there is something definitely wrong.

Last night, I went out for a few and daddy was home taking care of the boy. When I was about to leave to come home, I saw that he had called. When I called back, he told me not to worry when I got home because there was an ambulance in front of the house. Conner just about passed out and really scared him. Conner slept all night, waking up a couple of times just coughing and then going back to sleep. He was ok, but I took him to the Dr. today anyway.

I found out that he has an ear infection (which is probably the reason for his fussiness). His lungs are clear, he is just really congested. My poor poor baby. I don’t like it when he feels like this. He got medicine including an inhaler for when he has trouble breathing or starts coughing a lot.

Sick babies are no fun. Not because they don’t play or not that I enjoy them less, it just breaks my heart knowing that they don’t feel good, and I can’t do much about it. He is going to get better now and start eating and drinking like normal. That’s my prayer and proclamation. This whole sick thing is new to me cause my kids are never sick.

On another note, my monster girl is coming back tonight. I just wish it was sooner than later. I got her new coloring books, play dough, sidewalk chalk and color wonder finger paint. I hope it’s nice out tomorrow because this mom wants to play with her babies πŸ™‚

My Birthday Boy!

It’s Conner’s first birthday! It’s hard to believe that one year ago, I was lying in a hospital bed, giving birth to my second kid. A bouncing baby boy, and what a boy he has been. I couldn’t have asked for a better second baby. With my daughter, I was up all the time during the night, and that was something that I wasn’t really looking forward too again. Ever since he was just a few weeks old, he would sleep almost all night long, with the exception of some nights.

He loves to eat and won’t ever turn down food. He may spit it out, but he is always willing to try it. We went to IHOP today and we gave him some fries. Well, he ended up throwing them up because he shoved too many in his mouth. I was the good mom and caught it in my hand. I really wasn’t expecting what all came out. I thought it would just be fries. Anyway…Like any mom, I went to the bathroom, washed my hands and continued to eat, while Yaya couldn’t finish. hehe…It really was quite disgustingly funny.

He’s so been so happy all day, and really, he is just a happy little boy. He gets into everything and has to investigate any open door or cabinet. He loves to follow his big sister around. He says dada, mama, yaya, baba and jabbers more everyday. I’m so excited to see what the next year brings us. I love my baby boy, Conner J.

When I Fell in Love

I’m going to give a little longer version of what led up to and how my husband and I met. When I was younger, like in high school and just out, I was definitely a completely different person than I am now. I had short hair, wore t-shirts, jeans and chucks all the time and really didn’t care how dumb I acted cause I was always around friends and people like me. I love music. I love listening to it and I used to love playing piano. I wrote songs, poetry, whatever came to my mind. After high school, I didn’t want to go college right away, and I had always been really involved in my church and activities that involved some kind of ministry (drama, music, dancing). I decided that for 10 months, I was going to move to OKC, OK and be in Master’s Commission. It’s a *hardcore* ministry training program that is suppose to help with people’s aspirations of being in…well, ministry. First year students were not allowed to date or even talk to opposite sex for more than 5 minutes.

Being who I was, that was really difficult since I had a lot of guy friends and not a lot of girlfriends. Let’s just say, I didn’t follow the rules really well, but it still was a very good experience for me and I got a lot out of it. Anyway…I went into the program with someone that said that he would *wait* for me. Yeah, so THAT didn’t happen. Not sure what happened in that 10 months, but it’s all good. So, our team was in IN for 2 weeks going from church to church doing services, playing music, we even went to the Prison outside of Sullivan and ministered there. It was pretty interesting, but not something that I am called to do. Our last night in Indiana, we were playing music and singing at this Teen Cafe thing at a Methodist church. I guess it was some sort of open mic night too, cause that’s when HE entered. πŸ™‚ OMG! If you knew me back then, you would think that I was silliest girl in the world. After we were done playing, it was a while after, but HE started talking to me. ME! J. had long Fabio looking hair, wore a white button up shirt that was un-buttoned at the top….*sigh* let’s just say he was beautiful, and me? not so much. I was 19, looking like a 16 year old, couldn’t hardly talk to him, couldn’t even look at him. I was smitten and still couldn’t believe he would talk to me.

He was confident, smooth with a nice smile. All I had going for me was that at the time, I could hacky sack πŸ™‚ Not exactly something this guy was into. I was the kind of girl who hacky-sacked, wore chucks like no one’s business (trust me, they were nasty by the time I decided to throw them out), never wore a dress, didn’t tan or get my hair done at a salon. In short, everything I had done, I did it myself not knowing that someone could probably do it better. Soooo….What happened that night? Well, obviously I wasn’t really allowed to talk to him, so what did I do? I gave him my email address and that was it. He gave me his business card…let me say that again. His BUSINESS CARD. I’m a 19 year old, guy shy girl, and this guy gives me a his card. What do I do with that? I don’t call cause I’m too afraid of someone else picking up and I have ask for him.

After that night, I didn’t think that I would hear from him ever again. 3 weeks later, I get an email ❀ Oh yes…he finally made a move. Since then, we became friends and nothing more at that moment. I was still living in OKC and he was in IN. Β I am originally from IN just so there isn’t any confusion as to why I wanted this to work more than anything. We basically became best friends, still going out on dates with other people and dating. It wasn’t anything serious between us cause we were too far apart.

I decided after living in OKC for almost a year to move back home. He was the first person I went to see when I came home. His home was still 2 hrs from mine, so he let me rest before I had to actually go home. Oh he kissed me πŸ˜€ I had NEVER been kissed like that before. Every time I knew that I was going to see, I would get butterflies in my tummy and felt like I could throw up, my heart would be so far up my throat. He became my world. He was it. Our first date was Sept. 6, 2005. After that, I thought this was going to be forever. Until…it came to my attention that I was always the one who was coming to see him, call him and whatever else that was suppose to be done in a relationship. I tried to break up with him. Yeah…That didn’t work. He said that he would do better, and he did πŸ™‚ Things got a lot better. He would come see me and he called me almost every night. That’s all I wanted, to feel wanted. Well….

He told me that loved me Nov. 8, 2005. We then started talking about getting married. He proposed Jan. 11, 2006. We got married Sept. 30, 2006. This year will have been 6 years of marriage. It’s been a ride let me tell ya! But every year that we are married, we get better at it. Marriage is nothing to take lightly. You are with that person day in and day out. Nothing is private anymore and you just have to deal. He was my first and I his and there isn’t anything more special than that. Now we have our beautiful children, a good job, a nice home, but none of this would have happened if we would have never met. I think that God has a special someone for everyone, and if you have to meet the wrong ones first to know when you have met the right one, then that’s ok too. Cause trust me, I met the wrong ones and when I met my love, I knew he was right for me.

Another Day…Another Win…

If you have been in my house this week, you would know that it had not been a good week for mom or babies. Very sad 😦 My oldest, the monster girl, has not been sleeping very well at all, which in turn means that mom hasn’t slept well either. She is 2. Isn’t she supposed to be sleeping all night? That’s what I would think, but I guess I would be wrong. Isn’t the first time. Here is one of the typical nights I have had this week:

I go to bed at 10:30pm. My son decides that he is hungry at 12. I’m up from 12-12:30 mainly trying to get him to go back to sleep without eating. Unsuccessful. I get back to bed at 12:30am. 2:30, my daughter strolls in, drags me out of my comfy bed to just lay down on her floor beside her so she can fall asleep again. I wait til she sleeping and then go back to my dreamland bed. 4:30am rolls around and here comes the little monster girl again, but this time crying. She drags me out of bed, and this time, I just fall asleep on her floor. 5:15, the hubby comes in her room…*The boy is screaming and I need 30 more minutes of sleep before I have to get ready for bed* Monster Girl wakes up, wants milk, the boy is hungry wanting yet again another bottle. Mom is very tired and wants to just fall over and sleep for 2 days. I give monster girl milk, the boy his formula, climb back into bed with M.G. and sleep until 7:50am when both children wake up for the day.

Now doesn’t that sounds fun?? Luckily it was Tuesday, so the sitter was coming over to watch the kids while mom has her chill out time. I did make the M.G. take a nap, but she was still very grumpy even after her nap. I had very little patience with her and she was very irritable. It was an epic fail all day, let me tell you. So for the past 2 days, we have stayed in doors for fear of grumpiness relapse.

I had no choice today, so we went to Babies R Us & Walmart. Both trips went great! I was relieved. An awesome win for the day. Monster Girl turned into Angel Girl and the boy, well, he’s just chill all the time anyway. He was a little grumpy on the way home, but he was ready for a nap and wanted to be in his crib. It’s been a much better day, but I am looking forward to this weekend. The kids are going to their grandparents, and it will be me and the hubby all weekend ALONE! I didn’t realize how precious that time really was when we didn’t have kids to spend with your spouse. First comes love…Then marriage…Then the baby in the baby carriage…We had 3 years between the marriage part and the baby part, and I wish we would have spent even more time together.

It is what it is now and we work around that. It’s still great, and I would say that I love him more and more everyday since we have had kids. Weird? well, I will say we are a much stronger couple now than ever. Of course, like any relationship, we still have some things to work on, but we are in a good place right now. I love my family. Things couldn’t get any better…I think πŸ™‚

Those were/are the Days

I’ve been sifting through old and new photos to get organized and also to decide if i want to buy a picture book or just order prints. I’m amazed at what I have found and see what our life was compared to what it is now. I think that I have more pictures of my kids than any other life event or anything else. I want to photograph every part of their life. I do believe that I was better at taking pictures of Kylee when she was little cause I had a bit more time than I do with having 2 kids. I’m trying though. I don’t want to look back and miss anything that Conner did. It’s just as special as when Kylee first did things. Babies sure do change a lot in the first few years of their life.

There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a child grow up and change. She is definitely a character. Now my son, he’s my chunky cuddle buddy. He responds better to Bubby than his own name. That would be our fault, but no big. He will get it one day. He is almost a year old, but this time around seems to have taken a bit longer. That’s what it feels like anyway. He is my chilled out kid. Kylee is very acetic whereas Conner can just sit and be satisfied.

It’s nap time right now and I can hear Kylee playing in her room still awake πŸ™‚ This is the time that I get to do things that i really need to do. Like clean, figure out what we are going to have supper, things like that. Am I doing that right now? Nope! This is way more fun and way less productive with my time, but I never really get any time to myself. Once the kids get up from their naps, it will be feeding time and then play time and whatever else time. I’m definitely not the person I once was, but I’m not sure that I would really want to go back now. I love being a mom. There isn’t anything more satisfying to me on this earth. God allowed me this job and I want to do it to the best of my ability.

Just a Little Too Thin…

I didn’t realize how much I was spreading myself too thin when I had another baby. Β Being a mom is wonderful. It’s the best job in the world. And that’s just it. It really is a job. I have to make sure that I go to bed every night at a decent time because in the morning, the bosses are going to be hounding me to do my job. What are my jobs exactly? And this is just as a mother…We will get to wifely duties later. My mornings start out with feeding. No matter how tired I am, it really doesn’t matter to the little boss. I like to call him Conner. πŸ™‚ When he is hungry and ready to eat, I HAVE to feed him. There are no if ands or buts about it. He gets to eat. After he eats, sometimes he decides that he wants to sleep a bit more. That is the part I like because that means just a few more winks for me. If he decides to stay awake, I’m up for the day…WITH NO MORE NAP TIME! Usually by the time Conner falls back to sleep, the big boss wakes up. I like to call her Kylee. She gets her milk and we watch cartoons. Whew! My job sounds hard already πŸ˜‰

Sometimes as luck would have it. Conner doesn’t want to fall back asleep and both bosses are awake in the morning, and my eyes are still droopy. No, I do not drink coffee. I really don’t have anything that would be a pick me up so any suggestions are welcome. After some cartoons, it’s finally breakfast time for Kylee. Her breakfast is easy. She’s 19 months so she can feed herself. So independent. After eating, more cartoons, playtime, whatever time. The life of a mom with 2 babies doesn’t seem too hard does it?? Well, that’s all just when we stay home, and that’s usually the majority of the time. I hate to say it, but even on beautiful hot summer days, we still stay in-doors. It really isn’t by choice. See, Conner is only 4 months old. He can’t sit up by himself…ok so basically he really can’t do anything by himself except for holding his head up.

I tried to take them to park, on a whim, one day. It started out just fine. It was dreadful hot and it took no time for me to start sweating. After about 20 minutes, Conner started crying cause he was too hot. I had him in a sling and had to take him out. Then he was fine. When it came time to go home, that was another difficulty. When Ky is having fun, she doesn’t want to do anything else but have fun πŸ™‚ Totally understandable. How did I get her to the car? It wasn’t without difficulty. I ended up having Conner in 1 arm and reluctantly, Kylee in the Β other. She cried until the parking lot and then she walked. It was quite an interesting experience. I did meet a mother of 3 kids, about the same age as mine. So that was nice.

But anyway…Kylee is way easy to put down for a nap (and bedtime) So my days are filled with playing, eating, napping (the bosses) more eating, snacking, cartoons, playing…you catch my drift. So what makes this job so hard you ask? Well, I have to please both of them at the same time. When 1 cries, it’s easy. When 2 cry, that’s a different story. I don’t have the being a mother of 2 survival kit. It’s all just learn as you go. We do have a great routine, but it’s taken lots of time to get there. As for me. I’m the CEO of the house. I do everything. My husband works a lot so most of the time I am on my own. He has started getting better at spending more time with us rather than playing music or working in the garage when he is home and that’s nice.

I’m the CEO, secretary, waiter, server, cleaning lady, I have laundry duties and dirty diaper depot. I give baths and try to read stories (if only Ky would sit still long enough) I cuddle, I love, I spank, and I scold. I cry, I laugh, I kiss booboos and wipe away tears. I love my husband so much that even he gets all that attention too. Maybe not as much as he should, so I should probably work on that. I love my job. I love my kids. I love my family. So will I ever write a book or a survival guide to motherhood of multiples? Probably not. I just don’t have the time πŸ™‚