When I Get Old…er

Sometimes, I get to thinking about when I get older, where will I be? Who will I know? Will my kids still be close? Will I start going crazy? Am I already headed down the path to crazy? Will my husband and I still be motorcycle riding, adventure taking old people? Will we own a house? Cars? Land? Grandkids? Will we go up in rapture before any of that will actually happen?

There are a lot of things to consider. We rent a house. We pay 2 car loans. Own 2 dirtbikes for actually racing purposes. 3 working bicycles for exercise purposes. We do not have a gym membership. We do not pay any kind of community fees from living in a subdivision. God forbid that we ever have to do that. The country is where we want to be. We will never own a mini van, no matter if we have more kids or not. I love my Cadillac! I make up excuses to leave my house so I can drive it.

I still have both of my parents. This will be the only time in my life that I can say that I am about to be a big sister. Half sister. My dad’s girlfriend is having his baby. Weird? Yes. Completely. It’s an *oh well, let’s move on* situation. I buy my kid’s clothes from Children’s Place and Baby Gap. I’m a little obsessed, but with this whole trying to save for a year to pay off a vehicle, I have to cut back that shopping a bit. My kids love being outside and would live outside if I would let them.

My daughter is cute and she knows it. My son is my bud and laughs every time I just look at him. I call my daughter monster. My son is called Bubby and mostly answers to Bubby. The monster girl does not like being cold. Bubby is hot most of the time. Anyway, you get the drift. Life is pretty great right now. We are waiting to see where the job is going to take us within the next few months. Somewhere South, just not sure where.

All of this moving around doesn’t leave much room for stability. The kids aren’t old enough to be in school yet, so it doesn’t hurt to move right now, but when they start school, things may change. Not sure how though. When I think about our future and where we will be, I honestly can’t see us anywhere yet. I haven’t found that one place that I love to be, and we just have to live there. We have met some great people in our travels, and we have met some not so great people. We have met people that were great in that moment, but very easy to forget in the long run and we have met people that will be our friends forever.

Our goal for our life is to eventually find land, build a house on a small part of that land and then the rest…motocross track! My husband will be riding his dirtbike forever into eternity. At our mansion in Heaven, God had better allow for a track to built for him or he may consider moving 😉 His dad still races and he is turning 61 this year. My husband is covered as far as what he wants to do when I grows old, but me? I think I may know what I want to do, but it’s just a matter of where we when that time comes.

I love being creative. I love home decorating and making things pretty. I love cooking and have people enjoy that cooking. I love making people feel comfortable and happy. Someday, I would like to open up my own B&B. Sounds reasonable? I think so. I just have to plan and plan…and oh yeah…make a plan. Pray and believe. I have ambition, but I need to learn the ropes. I never went to college. I got married early in life and still don’t regret it to this day.

I strive to be the parent that my kids can look up to and say to their friends *I want to be like my mom and dad when I grow up* I want to set the bar. I don’t want to be just another statistic. I want to grow up with dignity and be a woman of honor and help my husband be the man he is supposed to be. I am very blessed to be where I am at right now and try not to take anything for granted. I love my husband. I love kids. I love my family. I want to live the standard of Godly parents.

I will mess up. I will fail. I will occasionally yell and then cry because I was too hard. My kids will get mad at me. They will say things to me that will hurt my feelings, but in the end I know that they don’t really mean what they said. I will take things personal. But if none of those things happen, I will never learn. Growing up is hard and life isn’t fair. Just take what you have and cherish it and make the best of what God gives you.

A New Direction

So I have been seriously considering going to college. I’ve never been. I moved away from home right after high school for 10 months, and when I came home, I just worked and then got married a year later. I feel like it’s time for a something new in my life. I talked to an enrollment advisor today, and it seems quite feasible. I will only be taking 2 classes at time so there won’t be any overload of work all the time. It’s completely online, which is the only way that I can do it anyway. I’m getting really pumped up about it.

My husband asked me last night if I could wait until the kids start school, but I think that if I wait any longer, I won’t want to do it anymore and I will start doing more things to take up my time so I won’t have time for school. I want to focus on business/management/finance…something along those lines. I like selling on ebay, and I take care of our finances at home. I like playing with numbers, and I want hone my skills.

It’s a huge life decision to go to college, especially my age with kids. Most people my age have graduated or are about to graduate from college. Me? I’m about to start. I want to do something with my life. When my kids do start going to school, I don’t want to just sit at home and wait for them to come home. BORING! I worked all my teenage life up until I found out I was pregnant. Fast food, grocery, retail, welfare, physical therapy. That’s all the areas that I have worked in. My favorite was physical therapy, but it’s not the field that I want to study. Too many medical terms.

I’m sure whatever field I decide to study, it’s not going to be easy, but I am determined to finish. Anyway…Thoughts? Questions, Advice? Help me out here.

My Princess Child

So I realize that every time that I post about my daughter, I refer to her as the Monster Girl. It’s just her nickname. It doesn’t mean that she is crazy or defiant. She just has THAT personality. When she plays, sometimes she likes to growl like a lion or a monster 🙂 She’s rough. My husband said last night that we should send her pictures into contests or agencies for modeling. She’s soooo cute. That could be us being biased, but you can be the judge of that. 

Daddy had just shown her how to put her hands in her pockets. She thought that was the coolest thing ever. Anyway…When I think about putting either of my children into anything like modeling, my mind goes back to Toddlers and Tiaras. Those mothers are CRAZY!  Maybe it’s on tv cause they are the extreme part of that field. I don’t know, but I don’t ever want to feel like I am exploiting my child to anything that she really doesn’t want to do or be apart of. She is only 2 and still doesn’t communicate the greatest. What do I do here? I want to give her every opportunity that I can to help her succeed, but I don’t want to push her so hard that she resents me later in life. I guess it would be me who would need self-control.

She’s a doll, but she’s my doll. 🙂 If I do decide to go through with *child modeling*  I will probably wait until we move. Too much goes into a move, especially with the move we are about to make. State to state is a lot more difficult than town to town. Anyway…Florida or Texas. I’m sure that either place will offer some great opportunities, plus great weather!

Just a Little Too Thin…

I didn’t realize how much I was spreading myself too thin when I had another baby.  Being a mom is wonderful. It’s the best job in the world. And that’s just it. It really is a job. I have to make sure that I go to bed every night at a decent time because in the morning, the bosses are going to be hounding me to do my job. What are my jobs exactly? And this is just as a mother…We will get to wifely duties later. My mornings start out with feeding. No matter how tired I am, it really doesn’t matter to the little boss. I like to call him Conner. 🙂 When he is hungry and ready to eat, I HAVE to feed him. There are no if ands or buts about it. He gets to eat. After he eats, sometimes he decides that he wants to sleep a bit more. That is the part I like because that means just a few more winks for me. If he decides to stay awake, I’m up for the day…WITH NO MORE NAP TIME! Usually by the time Conner falls back to sleep, the big boss wakes up. I like to call her Kylee. She gets her milk and we watch cartoons. Whew! My job sounds hard already 😉

Sometimes as luck would have it. Conner doesn’t want to fall back asleep and both bosses are awake in the morning, and my eyes are still droopy. No, I do not drink coffee. I really don’t have anything that would be a pick me up so any suggestions are welcome. After some cartoons, it’s finally breakfast time for Kylee. Her breakfast is easy. She’s 19 months so she can feed herself. So independent. After eating, more cartoons, playtime, whatever time. The life of a mom with 2 babies doesn’t seem too hard does it?? Well, that’s all just when we stay home, and that’s usually the majority of the time. I hate to say it, but even on beautiful hot summer days, we still stay in-doors. It really isn’t by choice. See, Conner is only 4 months old. He can’t sit up by himself…ok so basically he really can’t do anything by himself except for holding his head up.

I tried to take them to park, on a whim, one day. It started out just fine. It was dreadful hot and it took no time for me to start sweating. After about 20 minutes, Conner started crying cause he was too hot. I had him in a sling and had to take him out. Then he was fine. When it came time to go home, that was another difficulty. When Ky is having fun, she doesn’t want to do anything else but have fun 🙂 Totally understandable. How did I get her to the car? It wasn’t without difficulty. I ended up having Conner in 1 arm and reluctantly, Kylee in the  other. She cried until the parking lot and then she walked. It was quite an interesting experience. I did meet a mother of 3 kids, about the same age as mine. So that was nice.

But anyway…Kylee is way easy to put down for a nap (and bedtime) So my days are filled with playing, eating, napping (the bosses) more eating, snacking, cartoons, playing…you catch my drift. So what makes this job so hard you ask? Well, I have to please both of them at the same time. When 1 cries, it’s easy. When 2 cry, that’s a different story. I don’t have the being a mother of 2 survival kit. It’s all just learn as you go. We do have a great routine, but it’s taken lots of time to get there. As for me. I’m the CEO of the house. I do everything. My husband works a lot so most of the time I am on my own. He has started getting better at spending more time with us rather than playing music or working in the garage when he is home and that’s nice.

I’m the CEO, secretary, waiter, server, cleaning lady, I have laundry duties and dirty diaper depot. I give baths and try to read stories (if only Ky would sit still long enough) I cuddle, I love, I spank, and I scold. I cry, I laugh, I kiss booboos and wipe away tears. I love my husband so much that even he gets all that attention too. Maybe not as much as he should, so I should probably work on that. I love my job. I love my kids. I love my family. So will I ever write a book or a survival guide to motherhood of multiples? Probably not. I just don’t have the time 🙂