The Better Me Project

There are days that I feel very lazy and don’t want to do a thing, and then there are days that I feel very productive and get so much done that I don’t know how I did it all in one day. Unfortunately, the lazy days come too often and the productive days…well, you get where I am going with that. I want to be a better person. A better mother. A better wife. A better, well…everything. It’s hard to get things done with 2 kids running around the house taking everything out that you just cleaned up or making messes where you just vacuumed. It gets frustrating and almost makes me not want to try to some point because it’s just going to get messy again. I strive to have the house cleaned, laundry done and dinner finished by the time hubby comes home from work, but it doesn’t always work out that way. He’s a good sport about it just as long as I pay attention to the kids and make sure that they are learning something new everyday or getting outside to play. I am not a perfect mother and neglect that sometimes, but that is because my brain is sometimes in cleaning mode, and I feel that I need to get everything done. The reality of it all though, I CAN stop what I am doing because it won’t go anywhere, and I can get it done later. That mode is hard for me to turn off sometimes.

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my daughter (who is almost 3), and I was loving on her. I told her that I was going to eat her toes. She started laughing and said “no mommy, my toes not food. That food.” I kept persisting just to make her laugh, and kept saying that her toes weren’t food. Too cute, right? Kids say the funniest things. After that, I started doing laundry, but I wanted her help and she wanted to play with her puzzles. She wanted me to play so I made a deal. She helped me with laundry, and I would play with puzzles. She was very happy to help as long as mommy played with her. I don’t want to miss anymore moments like that ever. I know that with life, it will happen, but I am going to try my hardest to be the best mommy that I can be for my babies.

If you would have known me a few years back, you would ask me what changed me because I am definitely not the same person I was even just a couple years ago. I didn’t cook. I hardly cleaned. I didn’t craft. I wasn’t creative whatsoever. Let’s just say, I was not motivated to really be anything special. I was just plain boring. Well, lately, that just hasn’t settled with me. I got on Food Network and started looking up recipes and things that looked yummy. I got addicted to Pinterest (like everyone else). I used my sewing machine so much that it crapped out on me last week. I love to crochet at night before I go to bed. I sell on etsy. I clean just about everyday. I look for things to make my household more organized…etc…In fact, the next project that I am going to start very soon is building my own furniture. I can’t ever seem to find furniture that I really like, just stuff that I could live with and then eventually sell or throw out. I want pieces that I can be proud of keep forever. The Handbuilt Home by Ana WhiteΒ is where I got the idea that I can do things like that from. She has easy to understand instructions and an appeal to her designs. If my first build comes out as awesome as I think that it will, I think that I am going to get her book. :)I want to learn now what I can teach my kids later in life. I want them to learn how to be respectful and polite. Calling elders ma’am and sir or just anyone. I want them to know how to manage money and be creative. I want them to want to learn. To have a passion for something. To love and to live. To be like their daddy and to WANT to be like him.

Their daddy is a wonderful man and a loving husband. I am better at being a mother, I can be better at being a wife. If I can be a better wife, I can be a better me. I don’t want to lose ME in all the other titles that I have. I want to be somebody and touch someone with my story. My past. My present and my future. I do not boast in the things that I have done lately because without my God, I couldn’t have, wouldn’t have started or done anything that I have. He is the One who has given me the creativity and the want to be better and make things beautiful. He has given me the mind to start these things. Because trust me, I am not who I was years ago. I am better already and the journey to a better life has just started.

I hope to inspire so stick with me πŸ™‚

Redirection…

It has been quite some time since I have been on here. At first it was hard not blogging, but the longer I waited to do it, the easier it got to slip my mind. I put it on hold when a new direction of life presented itself to us, and we had to move cross country…like literally. 1800 miles away from home. The hubby’s job moved us to sunny California! I love it here πŸ™‚ Couldn’t ask for a better experience so far. Anyway…Since we have been here, I have been quite busy trying to figure out my place in life now. The kids are getting older and easier to deal with. Ky is in preschool and loving every minute of it. It also gives me a few hours of alone time C. He misses his sissy though when she is gone. Before we initially moved, I started sewing and making crafts just for fun. Now? I am trying to make a business out of it. I am starting out by making wallets to sell and have a couple patterns for purses but haven’t gotten that far yet. I made a duvet for the guest room and just finished Ky’s bedspread for the bed she will be getting here soon. I will post pictures after the bed is all put together. I have an etsy shop.

http://www.etsy.com/shop/mamamaryeldesigns

I started selling Scentsy again and hope to do well with it here. I have a couple of parties lined up, but nothing set in stone yet.

http://marylake.scentsy.us

My house is constantly a mess with kid’s toys and my sewing projects everywhere. I have been cooking more. In fact, my house smells awesome right now because of the Crockpot Pork chops that are cooking right now. Making me hungry πŸ™‚ The hubby wants us to start playing music and singing again. We got the songs, just need the time to practice.

So as you can see, a lot of things are starting to develop, but just waiting for the time when it all comes to pass and start being a success at things that we want to do and not what we necessarily have to do. Ky’s birthday is coming up quickly which means that Christmas is also. Lots of things to do. Lots to get ready for. And as I am writing, I am realizing that I don’t have much else to say right now πŸ™‚ Guess it’s time for the Waltons on the Hallmark Channel…I’m such a girl πŸ˜‰

To Facebook or not to Facebook….

That is the question…I have been off of facebook for quite some time now, and I am rather enjoying it, being off that is. With our impending move coming closer, I have friends and family who will want to know what we are doing, where we will be and so on. Without facebook, I spend a lot more times with my kids, cook, sew, crochet, play, go outside. I spent a lot of time on the couch watching and waiting for people’s status updates, pictures, etc…Waste of my time.

I had more important things to do then spend time on facebook. Now that we are moving all the way across the country, is it going to be any different for me? Will I be in the habit of not getting on as much even if I do have it. Or will I be so consumed of taking pictures and needing to get them on facebook as quickly as possible so everyone can see my adorable children? πŸ™‚ Suggestions? Please?

Anyway…just a quick note of what was on my mind. I will update more soon, but today, I’m getting my babies back and going home to daddy. This was my last visit to my mom’s house before we leave. We have a lot of things to do before moving, and I don’t want to have to worry about driving any further that I need to. Plus, yaya misses us and we are going to the zoo tomorrow, weather permitting. πŸ™‚ Have a good day blog world!

There’s No Place Like Home

I begin to think about all the places that I have been and lived, and it’s a wonder why we haven’t settled. We both come from small towns, but we are definitely NOT small town people. We have big dreams. Bigger dreams than what living in a small town can give us. Some people like the small town atmosphere. The feeling of family all being in one place and everyone gathering for special occasions like Christmas and Thanksgiving. It’s not like that for our little family. Both sides drives us a little crazy, but we still love them, but not enough to move back to small town USA.

I went to my mom’s this weekend to spend some time with my grandmother. She is in poor health, and I want her to be able to see her great grandbabies as much as possible before anything happens. My kids are 1 and 2 years old so when I take them out of their normal environment, it really shows and makes this mama extremely tired. My mom’s house is no where near kid friendly so I was constantly putting things up so they couldn’t break anything. That’s exhausting when you are doing it all day. I went to my dad’s place and saw him this weekend. It was a nice visit considering everything that I have said to him this past year. (I’m not going to elaborate)

Kylee loved playing with Mammaw, and I’m sure that she enjoyed it too, but Kylee is 2 and a little rough. Mammaw was a trooper, but I eventually hod to get Kylee to quit climbing on her. She didn’t like that, but she was also very ready to come home and see her daddy. I was only gone for 2 days. Daddy went to his parents this weekend and went racing with his dad. We have to get as much family time in as possible. Why? We are moving to California in a very short 2 months.

CALIFORNIA!

You have to understand. We are from the midwest, which I think is inaccurate anyway because we aren’t even close to the middle of the US and we are more east than west. I don’t understand and I never have understood why they call us the midwest…Anyway…I’m super stoked. I’m really ready for this move, and I have been ready for this change for a long time. It’s way far away, and I’m ok with that. It’s going to be a journey worth taking. We just got the news at the end of last week. I was ready then to drop everything and go.

I love traveling, I hate moving. I love living in different parts of the US. I hate moving. I love seeing the sights and the beauty this country has to offer. I hate moving…you see a pattern? Moving requires organization, packing, driving, hotels, gas…$$$…My husband is fortunate enough to have a job that pays for our move, or at least, pays us back afterwards.

So this is a new beginning for us and I can’t wait to share all of our experiences and hang ups. Good times and bad. Will you join me?

When I Get Old…er

Sometimes, I get to thinking about when I get older, where will I be? Who will I know? Will my kids still be close? Will I start going crazy? Am I already headed down the path to crazy? Will my husband and I still be motorcycle riding, adventure taking old people? Will we own a house? Cars? Land? Grandkids? Will we go up in rapture before any of that will actually happen?

There are a lot of things to consider. We rent a house. We pay 2 car loans. Own 2 dirtbikes for actually racing purposes. 3 working bicycles for exercise purposes. We do not have a gym membership. We do not pay any kind of community fees from living in a subdivision. God forbid that we ever have to do that. The country is where we want to be. We will never own a mini van, no matter if we have more kids or not. I love my Cadillac! I make up excuses to leave my house so I can drive it.

I still have both of my parents. This will be the only time in my life that I can say that I am about to be a big sister. Half sister. My dad’s girlfriend is having his baby. Weird? Yes. Completely. It’s an *oh well, let’s move on* situation. I buy my kid’s clothes from Children’s Place and Baby Gap. I’m a little obsessed, but with this whole trying to save for a year to pay off a vehicle, I have to cut back that shopping a bit. My kids love being outside and would live outside if I would let them.

My daughter is cute and she knows it. My son is my bud and laughs every time I just look at him. I call my daughter monster. My son is called Bubby and mostly answers to Bubby. The monster girl does not like being cold. Bubby is hot most of the time. Anyway, you get the drift. Life is pretty great right now. We are waiting to see where the job is going to take us within the next few months. Somewhere South, just not sure where.

All of this moving around doesn’t leave much room for stability. The kids aren’t old enough to be in school yet, so it doesn’t hurt to move right now, but when they start school, things may change. Not sure how though. When I think about our future and where we will be, I honestly can’t see us anywhere yet. I haven’t found that one place that I love to be, and we just have to live there. We have met some great people in our travels, and we have met some not so great people. We have met people that were great in that moment, but very easy to forget in the long run and we have met people that will be our friends forever.

Our goal for our life is to eventually find land, build a house on a small part of that land and then the rest…motocross track! My husband will be riding his dirtbike forever into eternity. At our mansion in Heaven, God had better allow for a track to built for him or he may consider moving πŸ˜‰ His dad still races and he is turning 61 this year. My husband is covered as far as what he wants to do when I grows old, but me? I think I may know what I want to do, but it’s just a matter of where we when that time comes.

I love being creative. I love home decorating and making things pretty. I love cooking and have people enjoy that cooking. I love making people feel comfortable and happy. Someday, I would like to open up my own B&B. Sounds reasonable? I think so. I just have to plan and plan…and oh yeah…make a plan. Pray and believe. I have ambition, but I need to learn the ropes. I never went to college. I got married early in life and still don’t regret it to this day.

I strive to be the parent that my kids can look up to and say to their friends *I want to be like my mom and dad when I grow up* I want to set the bar. I don’t want to be just another statistic. I want to grow up with dignity and be a woman of honor and help my husband be the man he is supposed to be. I am very blessed to be where I am at right now and try not to take anything for granted. I love my husband. I love kids. I love my family. I want to live the standard of Godly parents.

I will mess up. I will fail. I will occasionally yell and then cry because I was too hard. My kids will get mad at me. They will say things to me that will hurt my feelings, but in the end I know that they don’t really mean what they said. I will take things personal. But if none of those things happen, I will never learn. Growing up is hard and life isn’t fair. Just take what you have and cherish it and make the best of what God gives you.

My Sunny Sunny Weekend

Friday is the normal day to go out and do something since Yaya comes over and helps me with the kids. The plan was to go to the St. Louis Zoo. What did the weather decide to do that morning? Rain! And rain it did. I mean, it poured. We were on our way there when we decided that it wasn’t going to clear up, so we turned around. Burger King was in our eating future, and that’s when Yaya suggested we do something else. You know, after the fact that we already turned around and was heading home. Silly Girl.

We went to the Magic House. It was very cool and the kids LOVED it! It’s this huge house with all kinds of rooms of activities for the kids. Kylee played and played and played!She went down a slide, went through a maze, played with a giant light bright, played in water, sand and in balls. Nevertheless, what did I learn from going to the Magic House with my kids?

  1. Kids are rude…I’m not talking about younger babies who don’t know any better. I’m talking about the kids who do and don’t care. They don’t care who is in their way. If they are going somewhere, you will get pushed, big or small, you might get injured.Β 
  2. Parents of those so called rude kids, don’t care…It didn’t seem to matter what went on, the parents didn’t say much to their pushy unkind kids. They just let them do whatever they wanted no matter what happened to another kid or baby.Β 
  3. Strollers are NOT advised…This place was packed so taking a stroller was not the greatest idea. There was a place to park it and it was safe. Too many people to really commit a crime here. Anyway…There were those parents who thought it would be ok to try to push their stroller around through the crowds of people. Like I said, strollers are NOT advised.Β 
  4. After using the restroom, make sure your pants are up all the way…This is a very short story. This place has a family restroom meaning one family at a time can use it. Anyway, This lady comes out with her baby and turns around, and yes, you guessed it…underwear completely exposed with shirt slightly tucked in, pants not all the way up. It’s hard not to laugh because it’s hard to believe that any adult in their right mind would ever have this happen to them. Adults can be more cruel than kids. I saw several women see this women and just talk about it and laugh. I thought that if this were me, would I want someone to say something? Absolutely! Who knows how long this woman was going to be at this place, so very discretely, I said something to this woman. She didn’t get mad. She was probably very embarrassed. After that, we left.
All in all, it was a good trip. I would definitely take them back. The sky had decided to clear up so we ended up going to the zoo. Kylee loved seeing all of the monkeys. That’s all we really got to see since the kids had already had a long day and were getting cranky. The babies slept awesome that night.
Daddy was off all weekend, so he went riding Saturday and planned on racing Sunday, but that was rained out. Not too sure why cause it was hot and sunny all day yesterday. We were outside a lot and the kids played with the neighbor kids across the street. Kylee didn’t want to come home. We played ball, rode in her escalade, drew with sidewalk chalk, jumped in a bouncy house, rode her tricycle and so much more. I even got to ride my bike yesterday after all our activities were done. I could ride all day long. Definitely good exercise. I saw lots of people out finishing up their yard.
After the kids were asleep, Daddy washed my car and I’m considering waxing it today before I run my errands. I think that I am just rambling now, so I’m gonna go play with my chillins now.

2 Posts in One Day…I’m on a Roll

The only reason that I am posting again is because I am so excited to have my son back. He didn’t go anywhere. By back I mean, happy and healthy. Just one dose of medicine and he is laughing, eating, crawling around, did I mention eating?? Yes, I am a very happy mommy right now.

I will be even happier when my daughter comes back from being gone for almost a week at grammy and grampy’s house. Oh, how I have missed her. This next week is going to be tough though. I can tell, and she isn’t here yet. When she is at the grandparents, she gets spoiled, and I mean spoiled rotten. I will have to work with her all over again, with routine, what she eats, learning that no actually means no again…yes, the typical stuff that parents have to work with their kids on when they come back from grandma and grandpa’s house.

Well, anyway…I smell something unpleasant and am not looking forward to seeing what it is, not that I don’t already know. πŸ˜‰